I like to make compilation CD's. They're like audio snapshots of who I am at a given time. I've been listening to the Blue Album I made back when I was 18, still fresh into college. ...so full of wonder & hope & ideals, so ready to face the world, so ready to change the world.

The 18 year old me used to write in this very diary. She's still around these parts - 86 or so entries ago.

Last Saturday at the SFC (Singles for Christ) meeting Ivy Lynn said that, as a first year student, she'd look at 4th year nurses and wonder if she'd ever make it that far. Now she's shellshocked to find herself in their shoes.

I'm right there w/ her.
Me & Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate would have lots to talk about.

Where the fuck does the time go & why are we always in a race against it? I am one singleminded motherfucker. I've climbed the mountain with a set of blinders on, and now that I've reached the top, I'm looking down in a state of bewilderment. What now?

What now, indeed.

Where's that 18 year old girl when you need her?

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"I believe...
Fate smiled,
and Destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle,
'Know this child will be able,'
Laughed as my body, she lifted,
'Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience,
And with faith.
She'll make her way...
She'll make her way.'"

Natalie Merchant - Wonder
Track 7, Val's Blue Album

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