------------------ ------------------ *** "Those are your shoes. These are my shoes..." -Slug *** ------------------ ------------------
"'Come to the edge,' he said.
They said, 'We are afraid.'
'Come to the edge,' he said.
They came.
He pushed them...
And they flew." -Guillaume Apollinaire
Would you like to hear a bedtime story, children? Heeeeeeeeere we go...
Once upon a time, there was a brown girl and her brown boy. They liked the hip-hop very much - So much, that one night they decided to catch a show by an experimental, underground hip-hop crew from the Bay Area. The crew called themselves Anticon (i.e. Anti Conformist), and they sucked major ass.
The brown girl and her brown boy were very sad. Disappointed, they left the music venue. The brown girl drove her brown boy to his car. But where was the brown boy's car? "Where is my car?!" said the brown boy. "Are you sure you parked here?" said the brown girl. "Yes, right here!" said the brown boy, getting out of the car. Walking to the spot where his car had been, he looked behind a nearby bush to find a No Parking sign. The brown girl and her brown boy decided to go to the gas station across the street. They were very sad.
At the gas station, the brown boy called the local towing service, but his car was still nowhere to be found. He was very, very sad. Until 2 am, the brown girl & the brown boy waited sadly in the gas station parking lot for the towing service's call. Yet the brown boy's car was still nowhere to be found. Finally, they decided to go home and try again in the morning.
But the brown girl was out of gas. She swiped one of her cards, and the gas pump said, "Hella naw." She swiped the other card, and the gas pump said, "I said HELL NAW, bitch." The brown girl was very sad.
She called her friend, Raven, who had an apartment nearby. Super Raven came to the rescue with some loaner gas cash. The brown girl and the brown boy smiled. They said "Thank you," and drove home.
The next day, the brown boy found that his car had been called into the towing service. At the ass crack of dawn, he and his brown girl drove downtown to rescue his car. He was dismayed to find that the towing fee was as big as a mafucka.
The brown boy was very happy to see his car again. But then he pulled out two sheets of paper tucked beneath his windshield wipers. They were parking violations. The fees were also big as a mafucka. The brown boy then examined his car for possible towing damage. What he found, instead, was bird shit on the hood of his car. The brown boy had had enough.
He and his brown girl drove back home together, deeply traumatized by the events that had just transpired.
And the moral of the story, kids?
Don't go to Anticon shows. -----------------------
